THE BAPTISM OF JESUS

Matthew 3:13-17

Ten years ago, in 2016, I went on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land with a group of about 20 Episcopalians led by monks of the Society of St John the Evangelist, which is a monastery in Cambridge Massachusetts. It was the most amazing and inspiring trip I have ever made. Every day I was filled with awe as we entered the stories from the gospel. We walked on the field where Jesus gave the sermon on the mount, we sat at the well where he shared water with the Samaritan woman, we went on a little replica of the boat on at the Sea of Galilee, and we celebrated the Holy Eucharist on the shore of the Jordan River.

At the Jordan, the location of today’s gospel, I lifted up my long black habit and waded into the river and looked up into the sky imagining the Dove coming down and the words we just heard, “This is my Son, the Beloved, with whom I am well pleased.” I longed to stay there all day, maybe lay down and let that water wash over me. But all too soon our leader called us back on the bus.

The image of the Dove as the Holy Spirit is my favorite Christian symbol. In fact, I had it tattooed on my arm on my 60^th birthday. The dove is also the bird that Noah sends out from the arc to see if there is land yet. The first time it comes back with nothing but the second time the dove has an olive branch in its beak letting Noah know that that indeed the land is back and a new life can begin.

In today’s gospel the dove is the Spirit descending from God to his Son.  The symbol of the new era and the public endorsing of who Jesus is.

Jesus walks humbly into the water with others who have come to have his cousin, John the Baptist, renew them in the Jordan River. I wonder, does Jesus need the affirmation of his Father – to hear that his Father is proud of him to begin the work that is ahead? Isn’t it what all humans long for – to hear their father say these empowering words, words that express pride in their child?

Many of us, including me, did not receive encouraging words from our earthly fathers. I now know that my father loved me, but he didn’t know how to say it or express it. He was emotionally absent and never spoke to his daughters about anything of consequence. I never once heard the words “I love you.”  My sisters and I have adapted to the lack of fathering in different ways, but we recognize that we never once felt that he was proud of us.

Having been a prison chaplain for 18 years I know that most men and women behind bars have what we call the father wound. They did not have a father who told them they were special or proud of them. For most of us, with this deficiency we didn’t develop a sense of self-worth which is so critical in navigating life in a successful way.

Not knowing that you are worthy is a deep wound that can drive some to addiction or reckless behavior. It seems to be passed down generationally. If the father doesn’t value himself, he is not likely to show his appreciation for others, especially his children and so on it goes.

I have witnessed many incarcerated men and women turn to God to find the Fatherly love they long for. It becomes God who believes in them and inspires them to live a moral and upstanding life. They seek to live lives pleasing their heavenly father. I have seen countless men and women transform themselves and this ripple of goodness infects others including their families. Some find that their growing faith and longing to live right is challenging for their families of origin. But over time their sincerity and higher vibration elevate everyone they encounter.

I have also found that anyone who has been exposed to childhood trauma needs more than religion. The wounds do not magically disappear with improved behavior and attendance at church. Brave excavation of past experiences is required to live the best version of ourselves, otherwise we continue to be triggered by the past and to cause harm even when we don’t intend to.

I have taken this walk of healing, and it is now the work God has called me to. I facilitate a 16-week program in the California Men’s Colony prison that helps the men develop compassion for what they endured in their traumatic childhoods and an understanding of the impact it has had on their bad choices. As we say, “hurt people hurt people.” And believe me no one is as damaged by life as the men and women who live behind bars. This deep dive into the past is coupled with an honest accountability for harm caused.  This is the call to repentance that John the Baptist insists on as he offers a new life to his flock.  It isn’t easy to look back but it brings about healing and even freedom. The goal is to become healed people who heal people.

Friends, these are very difficult times we are living in. The teachings of Jesus to care for the least is no longer what many of our Christians siblings promote, rather the opposite, there is an actual attack on empathy.  And yet it is all too easy to vilify others. It is tempting to cast players into the roles of good people and bad people. I encourage you to remember that hurt people hurt people. I am not saying that we don’t stand up to the domination systems just as Jesus did in his time.

How do we navigate such times as these?  

I think we must be honest with ourselves. Are you becoming numb? Do you feel overwhelmed and burned out? Do you have compassion fatigue? Do you feel furious? Do you feel inadequate, like nothing you do can really help? Or are you feeling enlivened by seeking justice, making calls and protesting with signs? Whatever you might be feeling I want to suggest you double down on prayer and love of God.  Now more than ever having a robust prayer life, and a life centered on the Divine is crucial.

Jesus invites us to be the family of God. We are all baptized into the Beloved community. We need to really take in that we are Beloved of God just as we are at this very moment. We can open our hearts to own this truth and live in an ever more life-giving union with Divine Love.  We can metaphorically stand in the Jordan River and receive God’s Spirit of love and imagine hearing the words, “In you I am well pleased.”  And from this truth we can find the strength and courage for a challenging time.

The Reverend Sister Greta