BELOVEDNESS

John 4:1-45

Henri Nouwen, one of the greatest spiritual teachers of our time, began one of his sermons by telling the congregation that they and he were all beloved daughters and sons of God. He then encourages them to really take this in. Then he says, “Our spiritual path is to claim that and live a life based on that knowledge.” We are all beloved children of God.

   For some, if not many of us, it seems it is difficult to let go of the idea that we have to earn God’s love; that we must behave a certain way that is pleasing and good for God to love us.  Much of the Old Testament is based on the poor job the Israelites did at pleasing God, in fact all the bad stuff that happens to them is attributed to their poor behavior towards God.  It has seeped into our collective consciousness that maybe if we did a better job at attending church or gave more to the poor then we might, just might, deserve a tiny bit of God’s love.

   We have only to look at today’s story of Jesus asking the Samaritan woman for water to see that he is breaking with the past concept of deserving or earning the love of God.  In this exchange that Jesus initiates he breaks all the norms of his religion and all the cleanliness laws to not only speak to a woman but a Samaritan woman and therefore untouchable and on top of that living out of wedlock.

   Jesus knew that this woman had been married five times and was currently living with another man. This did not prevent him from engaging with her, or maybe this is exactly why he sat down with her and asked for water.

Scholars assume that this woman was condemned by her community and carried a great burden of shame. They say the fact that she was at the well alone in the middle of the day instead of in the morning with other women illustrates her status as an outcast. Shame is a terrible burden to carry, and we so easily pick it up or thrust it on others. Shame keeps us from feeling worthy of love.  But Jesus does not shame her. In fact he acknowledges her situation but does not condemn her. He instead offers her the gift of living water, which will quench her thirst for ever.  Not only that, but Jesus also reveals himself to her, this outsider this untouchable woman, as the great “I am” – the Messiah who is to come. And she, a lowly woman, is the very first person to hear these remarkable words. So, this woman of the lowest stature is the first recipient of a direct revelation of who Jesus is. Imagine that.

   When his disciples come and encourage him to eat - Jesus says that his food is to do the will of God who sent him. So, it seems that he is also nourished by this encounter with the woman. Through his dialogue with the woman of Samaria, and then her community, Jesus’s ministry has begun to spread, and while she has had her thirst quenched, he has also been nourished.

   For all of us shame is a terrible burden. I think of it like a blanket that covers the soul, preventing us from feeling love. In the program I facilitate at California Men’s Colony we do a deep dive into shame; we wrestle with it. The incarcerated have been told in no uncertain terms that they are outcasts, unworthy, less than, not good enough, and untrustworthy. They feel that on top of what society says about them they have the added burden of having let everyone they love down. How in the world do these men ever free themselves from the weight of this shame?

   The brilliant professor and author Brene Brown has a lot to say about shame. I highly recommend her books and Ted Talks. She says that shame is something we all experience, not just those unfortunate enough to have experienced trauma in their lives. She has found that the path to freedom from shame is sharing the unspeakable parts. Brene Brown, a good Episcopalian by the way, has found that if we share our story with someone who responds with empathy and understanding, shame can’t survive. 

   This is exactly what we do in the Listening Circles I facilitate in prison. We take turns sharing the difficult painful stories of our past – both the hurt we endured and the hurt we caused, and miraculously by being heard with compassion we inch our way toward healing. And this is exactly what Jesus is doing with the woman at the well. He acknowledges her shameful story and then frees her with his empathy and living water which is Divine Love.

   It is our life’s purpose to become more free – more aware of our belovedness. Inch by inch. Can we find greater self-compassion no matter what we have endured or inflicted?

   In 2016 I went to the Holy Land for ten of the most extraordinary days of my life. And on one of those days, we went to this well. There is a big church filled with icons above it, and we all made our way down to where the well is. We read this passage from John’s Gospel, and we lowered a bucket into the well and took turns drinking from a simple metal cup. I can tell you that I will never forget the taste of the water from this well. It was almost electric, vibrant.

   I cannot preach today without addressing the new war we are involved in. My heart hurts with each new story of bombs and death tolls. This is not the way of love and healing. It does not feel like we are growing closer to the Kingdom of God.  It is a real challenge to stay grounded in our belovedness when there is so much suffering going on in the world, so much turmoil.

   My heart hurts and I imagine yours does too. But we can live with the paradox that terrible things are happening to beloved children of God and have great compassion for this suffering and at the same time walk the spiritual path of claiming and living a life grounded in the knowledge that we are beloved children of God. And it has always been so.

Let me end with a blessing.

Oh Great Lover of our souls – pour down upon us your Living Water. Let it fill us up with Divine Love propelling us to new levels of compassion and generosity. Let this gift heal any part of us that feels unworthy or is carrying shame. Let us be made whole and let this blessing sustain us through all the days of our lives. Amen.

Sister Greta