PRAYER

I am clergy in the Episcopal Church. I am also a monk dedicated to my life of prayer. Others sometimes assume that people like me have deep insightful wisdom to offer about prayer. Do not be disappointed when I say that I do not. It is not for me to tell anyone how to connect with God. All I can genuinely offer is my own experience, which has taught me that there are as many ways to pray as there are human hearts beating for God.

I spent a good deal of time alone as a kid. Not that I was lonely; I have just always been comfortable in solitude. Maybe I simply enjoy my own company, but I think there is more to it than that. There is something about the space of solitude that settles the soul and invites the Quieting of God. The important thing is to remain open and true to yourself. God will meet you there. Being alone in silence with God is my preferred way to pray.

This is not to say that I do not value prayer spoken with words. I do. In the monastery or in church gatherings, there are many prayers that we say together, and they help connect us in a communal way to God. In group worship, the intercessory prayers have a way of gathering the hearts of all present and bringing power to prayer in a way that is different than praying on one’s own. Once while attending the Alcoholics Anonymous World Convention in Minneapolis, I held hands along with 50,000 people gathered in the Metrodome reciting the Lord’s Prayer. It was exhilarating. I will never forget the stunning awareness of the Holy Spirit moving through that moment. Still, as amazing as that moment was, the Divine Spirit moves just as powerfully in the individual heart with the same quiet exhilaration.

In over two decades as a prison chaplain, I have prayed with thousands of my friends living behind the wall. I have felt the grace of God quiver our hearts and wet the faces of suffering with tears, cleansing our souls. We have held each other so close that it is hard to distinguish one trembling heartbeat from the other. Men have collapsed into my arms as I buoyed the weight of their sorrow and contrition. In these moments, life has never felt so real. We have never felt so seen by each other and felt so utterly loved by God. This is the power of prayer. It’s not about just asking God to remove our suffering; it is about the opening of ourselves to allow for the grace and comfort of God who is in the thick of it with us – in full solidarity with us.

When people ask me for prayer, my first response is to ask them what is going on in their lives. The prayer begins with their answer to that question. My job is simply to see them, be with them, acknowledge their circumstances before God, and to pray for God’s protection, grace, and peace to be with them. In the end, my hope is that I can be a brother to my friends, while staying out of the way enough to allow for God’s grace to do its thing. That has worked well for me for a long time, so I think I will stick with it.

In recovery, we say that we cannot transmit something that we do not possess. The same is true for prayer. If our prayer life is a little wobbly, that is what we have to offer. If, however, our prayer life is grounded in what is really real and connects us deeply with God, then we can offer that to the world.

I truly believe that ultimately, how I go about the living of my life is my prayer to God. That is better news on some days than others. Thomas Merton once said that our desire to please God indeed pleases God. That surely feels right.

Brother Dennis